This blog was written by Renée, the founder and designer of VOUS, as part of our ongoing series exploring identity, intentional style, and self-worth. While personal in nature, these reflections are shared to inspire a deeper connection to the VOUS philosophy—that clothing should support who you are, not who the world tells you to be.
A simple question dropped casually into a group chat this week, but it lingered with me long afterward: "So are we old?" It emerged innocently enough during arrangements for a friend's upcoming 50th birthday dinner. The 6:30 pm seating, our preferred time, was unavailable, leaving only an 8 pm slot. The question carried unexpected weight, shaking something loose in me.
It could have been asked differently. Perhaps: "Does 8 pm work for everyone?" or "Is that too late to eat?" But no, the question was framed through the lens of age. Why?
Turning 50 has significance in many cultures—it's perceived as the threshold where youth recedes and ageing officially begins. Research in Western culture suggests that this milestone carries enormous psychological and emotional weight. It’s seen as a moment where one is confronted, sometimes uncomfortably, with the concept of ageing, often provoking resistance or denial.
But what exactly is youth? Is it the carefree innocence between toddlerhood and school years? Is it the angst-filled teenage period or the responsibility-free years of our twenties? The definition seems fluid, yet our culture fiercely clings to it as something we must preserve at all costs.
The Problem with "Anti-Ageing"
The pervasive "anti-ageing" culture in Western societies is concerning. It promotes an endless pursuit of external validation, steering us away from authenticity and core values. This constant striving to appear younger fuels negative self-talk and self-judgment. Our society subtly, yet consistently, reinforces the idea that ageing diminishes our worth.
Studies confirm this troubling trend. Research indicates that self-worth tends to plummet significantly in midlife, particularly after age 50. Moreover, recent data has highlighted a notable increase in eating disorders among women in their 40s—a poignant reflection of societal pressures to maintain youthfulness.
The question—"So are we old?"—isn't merely about dinner plans or late-night dining preferences. It's a reflection of deeper insecurities planted by a culture that equates age with decline rather than growth, wisdom, and enrichment.
Age as a Cultural Construct
Age, like many societal markers, is largely a cultural construct. Other cultures celebrate ageing as an accumulation of wisdom and experience, yet Western culture often views it as a decline. Why is growing older perceived negatively?
Consider this: age brings invaluable experiences, rich stories, meaningful relationships, and deeper self-understanding. The essence of youthfulness is not bound to a number but rather to the vitality, curiosity, and authenticity with which we live our lives.
Listening to Your Inner Self
When I reflect on the dinner seating dilemma, my hesitation had nothing to do with being "old." It was simply about aligning with my body’s natural rhythms. My hunger and energy patterns have never adhered to an 8 pm schedule—not when I was 10, not at 18, and not during my supposedly carefree twenties.
The truth is, asking what works best for our own bodies, lifestyles, and comfort levels has nothing to do with age and everything to do with self-awareness and self-respect.
Our inner self doesn’t perceive ageing negatively—this is an external imposition. Our inner self craves authenticity, alignment, and care. The negative self-talk driven by ageism separates us from these core truths, chipping away at our self-worth.
Reclaiming Youth Through Authenticity
True youthfulness isn't about clinging desperately to an external image or a societal standard. Nor is it pursuing the latest beauty or fashion trend. It is rooted deeply in living authentically, connected intimately with our core selves. Youthfulness arises naturally when we prioritise what truly matters, respect our internal rhythms, and foster self-compassion.
Youthfulness arises when we know who we really are.
As evolving women, our most significant task is to continually reconnect with our core self, values, and priorities. Coming home to our authentic selves provides the energy, vitality, and emotional grounding often attributed to youth.
When we replace the critical question, "Are we old?" with the reflective question, "What do I truly need and prefer right now?", we honour our authentic selves. This simple shift can transform how we feel about ageing, ourselves, and how we navigate life's many transitions.
For those of you wondering—yes, we booked the 8 pm seating, much to my hunger’s quiet disappointment. I could have been tempted into searching for a trend-driven garment that screamed 'youthfulness,' a fast fashion piece that I would inevitably discard. Instead, I stepped into the evening feeling grounded, authentic, and genuinely myself, supported by clothing intentionally chosen to align with my true self (my VOUS pieces).
Ultimately, embracing age is embracing life itself — fully, courageously, and authentically.
At VOUS, we believe your clothing should honour that journey—not disguise it. Our pieces are designed to support you through all seasons of life with calm confidence and quiet strength. Because when you dress in alignment with who you are, you don’t need to chase youth—you radiate it, from within.
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