What are the five words you say to yourself most often?
Not the ones you say out loud—but the ones that lie underneath. The words that hum quietly in the background of your daily life. The ones that shape how you think about your worth, your body, your voice, and your place in the world.
These words are often so familiar we no longer hear them. They become automatic—repeated so often by our families, society, and culture that they embed themselves deep in our subconscious. And, as we continue to live by them, we unknowingly pass them on.
Your Mind’s Hidden Pathways
In psychology, these words are known as core beliefs. Core beliefs are formed in childhood and adolescence—when we absorb the emotional tone of our environment, the approval or rejection of our caregivers, and the cultural norms we observe.
These form the lens through which we see ourselves. They influence our self-esteem, our sense of safety, and the way we make choices. They're why someone might say, “I’m not stylish” or “I’m not worthy of spending money on clothes that feel good.”
These beliefs were often never chosen—they were inherited.
The question is: Are they still serving you? Or are they silently holding you back?
Who Gets to Tell You Who You Are?
Recently, a customer asked me a question that caused me to pause:
"Can you just tell me exactly which clothes I need in my wardrobe?"
It’s a question many stylists or designers would be happy to answer. But as a clinical psychologist—and as the founder of a brand built on intentionality—I couldn’t.
Why? Because I can’t tell you who you are. This is a journey that only you can take and an answer that only you can find.
Dressing is deeply personal. It’s your story—yet we’re constantly pulled away from that story by messages telling us who we should be.
This is why getting dressed can feel confusing, even frustrating. We see curated influencers online and feel we should dress like them. We hear that black is slimming, beige is timeless, or bright colours are only for the bold. But what if none of that fits who you really are?
Clothing can't create confidence from the outside in, but it can reconnect you to yourself—and from that place of connection, you'll find the answer to the question: "What pieces should I have in my wardrobe?"
Research Insights: Clothing, Psychology, and Social Media
Psychological research supports this. Studies have shown that clothing affects our self-esteem, confidence, and even cognitive performance. When we wear something aligned with our core self, we feel empowered, calmer, and clearer.
But when we dress inauthentically, influenced by external ideals, we can experience discomfort, disconnection and internal criticism.
Emerging research is now confirming what many of us feel intuitively: what we wear has a measurable impact on our mental state.
A 2022 study published in Body Image Journal found that exposure to fashion influencers on social media significantly lowered body satisfaction in young women—even when the influencers promoted “body positive” messaging. Why? Because curated images often lead to upward social comparison. We compare, we feel less-than, and we dress to correct ourselves rather than connect to ourselves.
Another study from the University of Hertfordshire showed that clothing can influence not just how we feel—but how we perform. Participants wearing garments they personally associated with strength or competence performed better on cognitive tasks.
This tells us something crucial:
The meaning we assign to our clothing matters more than the clothing itself.
Dress Inward to Dress Outward
You don’t need to look outward to define who you are.
Your way forward is the opposite. You need to look inward—and then choose what to wear.
If your inward self is seeking calm, choose clothing that brings comfort. If you’re craving structure, choose clothing that grounds you. If you value sustainability, choose garments that reflect your belief in stewardship and responsibility. Let every outfit be a small act of self-affirmation.
This then begs the question - What is your story?
Let me give you two very different examples to understand this further:
This piece is chosen by a woman who is drawn to clarity. She may have a full schedule and a sharp mind, but she’s tired of rushing. She wants ease without compromise. The Bronnie Shirt gives her structure without rigidity. It’s tailored, but not hard. It tells her: You’ve got this. You can take your time. She wears it for meetings and moments that matter—but also when she wants to feel like herself in the middle of a demanding week.
The woman drawn to this piece is seeking softness. She may be in a season of healing, slowing down, or nurturing others. The warmth of wool, the gentleness of the shape—it gives her permission to feel her feelings. It tells her: You are safe. You are seen. She might wear it to walk her dog, to journal at a café, or to sit quietly and recalibrate.
Each of these pieces becomes a daily companion. A touchpoint. A reflection of the story the wearer is living—or wants to live into.
Clothing as Daily Self-Care
In this light, getting dressed becomes something more than routine.
It becomes ritual.
Each morning, you can choose not just what to wear—but how you want to feel. You can choose garments that honour your past, speak to your present, and support the future you’re building.
So the next time you open your wardrobe, ask not:
What looks good on me?
But rather:
What brings me back to myself?
The clothes you wear each day are shaping your story—whether you realise it or not.
They are tools of memory, affirmation, and connection. They are an unspoken language that reminds you who you are, especially when the world tries to make you forget.
You don’t need more advice, more trends, or more rules. You just need permission to dress from the inside out.
Because it is safe to be who you are.
And your wardrobe is one place where that truth can quietly begin.
Pay $0 today
Trial
Pay